Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
going to bed
having her sit until it is finished
thinking she just doesn't like meat.....so giving her beans instead
just trying 1 bite
no treats for a week
eating it for breakfast
etc....
She is strong willed and is totally fine with not eating dinner. She is also totally fine with not having a treat and making sure her other siblings who DID eat get some sort of treat. And why do I care so much?? Because I think it is flat out RUDE & Disrespectful to have a sour face. Because she doesn't just do it to me. And on top of that the other kids pick up on it and have been doing just the same. Needless to say I have started to HATE dinner time. I was envious of friends who kids just ate what they said or were respectful EVEN if it was something they didn't like.
A few weeks back we were at bible study. The Menu..... Roasted Pork, Soup & some vegetable. I immediately knew what was going to happen.
"mom this is yucky" "how many bites" "what is for treat" along with sitting there silent with the face of disgust. When this happens I usually will bring it up with who I am with. I guess this is a way for me to let people know that I have tried "what I felt was everything". So I started talking with Joy. I basically told her that I have tried everything and I just don't know what to do. She went on and said that if they are not doing what we ask them to do then they are being disobedient. It really hit me. This whole time it is not about eating. It is about listening to your parents and obeying them. Now I realize that we do not like everything we eat. And some kids just don't like meat. But for Reese I seriously don't think that is the issue. We have let her control us in this area. So after rapidly asking her to eat her dinner and not listening to us. We calmly took her to her room and disciplined her. We explained that this is NOT going to be a problem any more. That what she is doing is causing her to disobey mom and dad. Strangely she totally got what we were saying. That is wasn't about food it was about obeying your parents.
I have to say that dinner has been something that I now look forward to. She still asks whats for dinner, but that is not because she won't eat it. She is also being a great example to her brother and sisters and I am very grateful for that.
Praise the Lord. I am so grateful for His word that teaches us. I am thankful for the community of believers that has given me wisdom.
It's all about first time obedience. Whether you tell your kids to go put their shoes on or eat their dinner, if they don't do what they are told the first time then they are disobeying. Which then requires a consequence. It's probably more hard on the parents because it requires serious consistency. I'm glad you got good godly counsel in this area for Reese. Stay strong. I remember from Growing Kids, they recommended parents teach their kids to say "it's not my favorite" when they don't like something, rather than - "I don't like it, or "it's yucky" Because there are definitely going to be things the kids don't want to eat.
ReplyDeletePraise God! It's so wonderful to get a breakthrough with our kids ;)
ReplyDeleteDyan
Wow! What a friend you have! :-D Okay she's my wife so I am biased.
ReplyDeleteWe have a saying that we picked up somewhere that we've taught our kids: Obedience is doing what we say, right away, without arguing, cheerfully, every day.
If they disobey in a particular way I'll ask them "how are you not obeying Mom and dad?" If they don't know what I mean I'll say "Well obedience is doing what we . . . . Which one of those are you not doing?" At that point they'll usually get it and say "Not right away" or "arguing". If they don't get it then I'll them what part(s) they are violating and I'll make sure they understand.
I am so happy for Reese and you guys!
I was just going to add to my first comment (just a little delayed) that Sean and I have also learned, much like the comment above, that obedience is to be -
ReplyDelete*immediate
*complete &
*without complaint
Good standards to go by. We're working with Stella and Jonah on the "but mom/dad" and the "just a minute" business...we've let it get a little out of control...to say the least.