It has been one of those weeks. The kind of week I wish was over and forgotten, never thought about again. The one when I think about my mother. I miss her.
I am not even sure I know what I even miss. It is not like she was a "normal" mother. She loved me of course, but her love was much different then the love we all long for and want. I think I mainly miss the idea of having a mother.
Jesus, I am so weak right now.
I have been avoiding this blog. Too hard to write how I feel because I feel I shouldn't be feeling the way I do. No joy in these circumstances. No love. Just this broken heart that needs to be healed.
Monday, May 31, 2010
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Norah
Ava
Dallas
Reese
husband and wife
Okay Dallas when you hit the ball you need to run to 1st base, 2nd base, and then home.....no mom! I don't want to go home!Reese was outside singing today while she was on the swing. And she says to me. "Mom, the sun is coming out because I am singing....I am wakin it up!" Keep singing girl, keep singing!Dallas: Look mom his doesn't have twin wheels! (translation:training wheels)Dallas: When I am a daddy....I want one of those baby Norahs.So sweet!Reese: Mom I like these things...What things? Reese: These Rat-tat-too-ies Do you mean Tattoos?Reese: Yah! TattoosDallas was holding Norah and this is what he said....Norah pooped. She pooped 3 times....Oooo....she pooped 10 times mom!!Reese was going to the bathroom and when she was done she looked (as all kids do) and said "oooo, look mom. I ate carrots!"Reese has been wanting her ears pierced. She spent that night at Ambers house and asked her if she could do it. Amber told her that it would hurt and after she did one ear she would have to do the second ear. She said "how bout you do the second ear first"We been telling the kids that Norah can't have anything to eat because she is to little. Dallas walks in the hospital and get up to look at Norah and says: "I want to see if she has a mouth"In the morning when the kids wake up they come and crawl in bed with us. I was laying on my side talking with Reese. She looked at me and said "Mom...your boobs are hugging" I just laughed. She then said "they love each other" The thoughts of a 5 ....and just in case you were wondering. I was wearing a tank top ;)Mom....when I am a mom I will have two kids and then we will have lots of kids at our house!!(And what do we have now...I am thinking)Dallas looked at my blog and the picture of the "barefoot and pregnant""mommy that's you!"Boy do I love that kid ;)My room is usually a mess. Of course I have all the "good" excuses as to why :) Well my surprise when I got home from work was a nice clean room with a made bed.When Reese came and got me this morning she said "Mom your room is Amazing!"
the things they say...
Reese: Hey mom look! She walks just fine and doesn't even need a cane! (we were at costco and she said this about an elderly lady...nice!)
About Me
- Amber Red
- I am a wife, mother of 4,a friend, and a child of God....I am addicted to coupons. Hopefully these confessions will help you save money for your family. Blessings
